The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear
by SkYdAnCeRSuGarDaLexoxoxo
Summary: Tensions run high among our favorite cast aways....could this be the end? UPDATED! ohh yeahh
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any of the characters

A/N: This is my first fan fiction. Please be kind, for I do not respond well to criticism

"Oh my Rosie, all those days we were apart. I missed you more than a blind kid misses his Seeing Eye dog after the dog dies in a freak accident," Bernard said to his wife lovingly.

Rose sighed heavily and looked longingly at the man sitting across the beach. She could not help but think what a fine piece of meat that doctor Jack Shepard was, especially while he was wearing a pair of blue scrubs he just happened to find laying on the beach. She knew she could never have him, though. The only way would be to kill Bernard. And then Kate. But alas, she would leave all the killing to Michael.

John Locke strolled across the beach callously, looking for the next young victim.

BUT HARK!

Locke heard a voice calling him. He turned around, only to see the ghost of Boone floating in the sky! Ahh!

Then, Sawyer, wearing his sexy ripped T-shirt, stabbed Bernard! Rose's plan was working!

Mr. Eko, Africa's finest, then picked up Jack, who was wearing a "Frankie Says Relax" T-Shirt and began to run with him.

Charlie, high on heroin he made from tree sap, began to scream. But nobody believed him! (because he was high)

Eko then held Jack high to the gods and screamed that he had a vision.

So then Desmond and Claire looked longingly at each other and ate some Dharma KFC

TBC!


	2. Chapter 2: Intensity!

The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

Chapter 2

WARNING very explicit lovemaking.

The ghost of Boone floated. Sadly on the island, wondering.

Sun, planting papaya seeds, lovingly looked over at Hurley, her new husband since Jin died. He was wearing a deep magenta t shirt that said Turtle on it. He was just so irresistably sexy.

Meanwhile, Mr. Eko, wearing a blue tunic, and Jack, in his yellow short shorts, continued to run down the beach. They were running from the others. Running from the island. Running, running, running.

Desmond sat in Sawyer's Dharma tent, wearing his dharma jumpsuit drinking dharma booze. He was in search of some light reading, and found that Sawyer had his favorite book! _The masterpiece:_ Auriga: Between Yellow Night and Refractive Sea. 

Walt, wearing a red polo shirt. Â and Locke were engaged in an intense game of Yahtzee. Clare angrily ran over. WHERES MAH BAY-BEE? she angrily screamed angrily. Then, suddenly, in a horrible twist of events, Rose stabbed Clare! The plan was working! mwahahah!

Kate, walking through the jungle, was in search of some guava seeds. All she ever wanted was some gosh-darned guava seeds.


	3. Chapter 3: Say What?

Fic: The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

Chapter 3

Eko picked Jack up again because Jack had burned his feet on the oh-so-hot sand.

Sawyer looked at Bernard's dead body with a moldering look and then spitted on Bernard's dead face. This was the man who had ruined his life

This was the man who had killed his sister, Luanne

Claire could feel the life slipping out of her. Because of Rose's poor aim and glass eye, she stabbed Claire in the foot. And what Rose actually thought was a knife was a crayon. Rose had gone delirious from being "sick"!

AHHH!

Aaron then walked up to his father, Sayid! Aaron said, ubiquitously, "father, have you the time?"

Sayid relplied, "There is no time, Aaron, my son. On this foreskaen Island, there is no time." He then went on to continue making sweet sweet love to Roussau

Sun looked at her dead husband, Jin. She really wanted some McNuggets

_Flashback: Kate_

_Kate looked at her husband, who she had married during a fit of drunkenness in Denver, Colorado. He mysteriously went by the name A. Hanso_

_Kate was then stabbed while she was in jail!_

_She asked, her voice filled with tenderness, "oh sir, why do you hate me so?" _

"_Because, Katherine, you have took away everything that has given my life meaning!" the man screamed._

_He walked out, soaked in blood and aftershave_

_Hugo Reyes walked out into the sunny Kentucky day so he wouldn't be late for his shift at Mr Cluck's Chicken…_

Back to Present:

Locked looked, his eyes squinted, at Charlie.

Charlie began to cry "Dear, Locke, I need help!"

Locke looked back to him, his bald head burned by the sun.

"But Charlie, what if I am not real? Mearly a figment of your over active and highly intoxicated delusions?"

Charlie stood, shocked- could this be true? Was he Sick too? Like Rose?

Then Locke was hit on the head with a rock and blood spilled everywhere. Apparently, he was as real as that polar bear that was eating all their food.

COULD THIS BE…….THE END?


	4. Chapter 4: The Party of Rue

The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

Chapter 4

Sawyer decided he would feel better about his dead. sister Luanne if he went and got some dharma mcnuggets from the dharma mcdonalds, which was just on the other side of the island...

BUT WAIT!

Sun angrily pounced on Sawyer. She just new that he wanted her mcnuggets! They were hers and ONLY HERS!

Just then, an enormous thunderstorm ERUPTED. Clare new she had to get back in the tent for safety, and also to get back to her lover, Dr. Marvin Candle.

The rain fell heavily for a long, long, long, long, long, long, time.

Did you see that! Charlie yelled sounding panicked. Rose hadnt heard him though.

Dad she whispered in her heavy Southern accent, watching the chaos around them.

Meanwhile,

Walt and Jack were playing a mean game of Taboo. Walt just couldnt get Jack to say SURGEON. He sighed. It was just like, duh, Jack.

Meanwhile,

Rose was slicing some papayas for the forlorn Hurley. He was very. sad. since his archnemesis Michael had killed his long lost object of affection, Ana Lucia...OR HAD HE? could it have perhaps possibly maybe have been the dreaded, mischeivous

The end...probably?


	5. Chapter 5: Rain, or Blood?

The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

The Fifth Installment

Sayid felt tired. He worried that it was the sickness. But he knew it couldn't be because he had received a vaccine from his days in the Chinese Iraqi War of 1987.

Sayid looked at his son, Aaron. Aaron had long, flowing blond locks, like his mother, Claire, a black curly beard like his father, Sayid

"My father," Aaron said obsequiously, "Wence shall help come?"

"Never, my little frankenstein of an adult son, for we are trapped in a quandary of love, hope, hatches, and a polar bear that is sleeping in my tent."

Jin could feel his temper reaching a disproportionate level as he watched his rival, Jack, eat a mango. Then Mr Eko picked Jack up and said, "Come, sweet, innocent Jack, for we are needed by God. And Desmond"

And once again, like to reunited lobsters, Mr Eko and Jack ran. They ran for hope. They ran for love

They ran from each other

They ran for each other

Desmonnd scratched at his fake beard. "Are you sure, brother, that this is the best of ideas?"

Locke smeared his face with pink rouge, "Desmond, it is the only way. We must disguise ourselves to trap the others and put them into the hatch. Now zipper the back of my dress."

Charlie and Hurley continued to throw darts and Walt, who was tied to a tree

Then Boone's ghost came!

"oooooooohhh my frieeeeeeennnnndsssss, yoooooooouuu muuuuuuuuststtttt eeeeeaaaaaaaat thhhhhhheeeeeeeee dhaaaaaaaaarrrrrmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaa pieeeeeeee"

Michael touched Ana Lucia's face tenderly. They embraced and then Ana Lucia slapped Michael across the face

"Why you shoot me Michael? WHY!"

Michael Screamed, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD?"

THE END! (I hope not!)


	6. Chapter 6: Captain, oh captain!

The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

CH 6

(&&

Jin couldnt take it any more. He loathed Jack so, so much for the way he ate those guavas. How could he be so cruel to an innocent, pure fruit?

Aaron sat in his dharma jumpsuit, twiddling his coarse black beard. His mysterious father, Sayid, looked off into the distance when suddenly,

ROSE POUNCED ON AARON IN A MURDEROUS RAGE!

&&Z#(&)(

meanwhile,

Sayid and Sun suddenly stopped their intense lovemaking.

&&#T&TY

it was still raining. bernard looked longingly over at locke, whose dress, I must say, was ravishing. Charlie walked over to Libby, who seemed to have found Desmonds stash of dharma booze!

Sawyer was still mad over those dharma mcnuggets that sun stole from him. Alas, they were the last on the island. And alas, he still longed for his sister Luanne.

Walt angrily ended his game of yahtzee with Jack. This guy was inept!

_Hurley angrily stormed into Mr. Clucks chicken. His mom had just ate the last of his mashed potato stash! She was so INFURIATING!_

_Mr. Eko sat down at the counter, ordering some of his favorite fried chicken. It was a moment Hurley would never, ever, never forget. _

As Eko ran towards Jack on the beach, he thought back on that moment of sweet and tender, yet crunchy fried chicken. He wondered if those nice dharma folks had any.

Meanwhile,

Dr. Marvin Candle angrily slapped Kate across the face! Kate ran away in tears! She rode away on her black horse. Away from Marvin, away from polar bears, and away from Jacks inept gaming skill.

Is this really the end?


	7. Chapter 7: The knife

The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

Chapter the 7

Sawyer could feel the hot tears stinging his face. The blood ran slowly from the back of his neck where Jack had tried to perform surgery the night before to remove "the dharma microchips" he claimed to see everywhere.

Kate Screamed! AHH!

Kate really loved Jin! But Jin was dead! She was so ruefully despondent.

Mr. Eko looked upon Jack with disdain mixed with Old Spice Body Spray.

He and Jack began to Run. To the local Dharma Target. For some chips. And a new DVD player.

Charlie could feel the crack he had injested beginning to wear off. When out of the tree jumped ETHAN ROM!

Ethan and he began to fight! And then Ethan pulled out a sword and he stabbed Charlie but Charlie wasn't really hurt all the bad because he was wearing a shield!

And then, Michael, and his lover, Mrs. Klue, took Ethan. And then ran and ran.

They ran together.

They ran for all that was holy

Alvar Hanso then riffled through Sawyer's Dharmalicious belongings. He came across one savory piece of literature, entitled "Izzy Willy Nilly," the harrowing tale of a young peg-leg girl with a really hairy friend.

Bernard could feel the jelousy growing inside of him like a ravenous beast. He needed to take action.

And the action was clear

He needed to kill John Locke.

Bernard approached a mysterious and enticing she-beast he had never noticed before. She was wearing a tech vest over a red dress, had long red hair, and the odd stench of Dharma Cheetos.

"Have you seen John Locke?" Bernard asked this dame

"Why do you ask?" She replied in an oddly masculine voice

"Because I want to kill him," Bernard replied

"Oh"

Aaron then set the raft on fire!"

Sawyer picked up the book he was reading, the mysteriously titled This Whole Damn TV Series is a Dream Sequence of the Character, Hurley.

COULD IT BE A CLUE!

PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE THE ENDD!


	8. Chapter 8: Rubbing Desitny

The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear

Chapter 8

WARNING !

OBSEQUIOUSLY OBSENCELY OBSTINATE OSTENTATIOUS LOVEMAKING

IF SENSITIVE PLEASE DESIST READING

_Previously on The Scent of Fear in the Jungle of Fear_

Bernard approached a mysterious and enticing she-beast he had never noticed before. She was wearing a tech vest over a red dress, had long red hair, and the odd stench of Dharma Cheetos.

Have you seen John Locke? Bernard asked this dame

Why do you ask? She replied in an oddly masculine voice

Because I want to kill him, Bernard replied

Oh

Hurley strained to wipe his lachrymose tears. He couldnt believe the song _Michelle_. This issue of stealing bread from Ukrainian people really hurt him deep deep deep down inside where nobody could save him from his deep deep dark thoughts.

Meanwhile,

Jin sat, thinking about a ubiquitous coconut he longed for...but he could only find guavas and papayas and coconuts and grapefruits but NO COCONUTS!

Meanwhile,

A DINGO LEPT FROM THE DEEP DARKNESS OF THE WOODS AND RIPPED OFF ROSES FACE! and ate the baby aaron.

kate searched everywhere for henry gale. everywhere, everywhere. charlie obsequiously walked up to her and snarled, maybe the dingo ate your henry!

the group of castaways sits on an island of turmoil, surrounded by all fruit and no coconuts, and jack and mr. eko are running from it all. They run for each other,

they run for locke,

they run for bananas.

TBC!


End file.
